The problem with our world is that we draw the circle of family too small. -Mother Theresa
Parenting is hard. I look at pictures of my adorable kids, smiling or laughing or being silly, and my heart beams. But the pictures don’t capture all the moments before and after the smiles; the tantrums that seem to last forever, the screaming that won’t stop, the defiance that I don’t know how to handle, the questions I don’t know the answers to. I want nothing but the best for my kids and do everything I can to prepare them to be happy and successful adults one day. But the doubt is always there. Am I doing this right? Oh man I totally handled that wrong. Why did I yell again? And the worst question “Am I a bad mom?”
I have a masters degree, special certification in changing human behavior, and have spent the last 15 years of my life helping children with severe behavior challenges. Before having kids, I thought this would make handling any behavior issues my future kids had easy (not that my future kids would ever misbehave of course). However, once these hypothetical children became real squirmy distracted fussy adorable little humans, I realized how wrong I was.
My background has taught me two things that every parent needs to know. These truths will give you hope for more enjoyable family moments, and more peace and confidence in the difficult ones.
You are not alone. If you have doubts like mine, please know that there are far more than just 2 of us. I have spoken to hundreds of parents in my career and personal life and have learned that we all feel like this. Even the mom who always has pristine makeup on, somehow doesn’t have spots all over her white shirt by the end of the day, and whose children show up in ironed clothes and perfectly combed hair will confess to me that she has no idea what she’s doing and is terrified she’s ruining her well coiffed kids. Mom guilt is real, and we are all doing our very best but still feel like we’re failing most days. The biggest mistake you can make is to think you’re alone and keep these thoughts and feelings to yourself. The more you can share with others what you’re going through, the more they will tell you their own similar experiences, and it’s so encouraging to know you’re not the only one out there!
You shouldn’t have to do it alone. Parenting is not an individual sport. I fully believe that it takes a village to raise a child. So far, my kids’ “village” has consisted of my husband and I, grandparents and aunts, wonderful home day care providers, baby-sitters, preschool teachers, gymnastics coaches, martial arts instructors, physical therapists, pediatricians, and many fellow behavior analysts to give me feedback and guidance. And my kids are only 2 and 4! Instead of putting pressure on myself to do and be all things to my kids, I’ve found such peace and joy in focusing on getting the right resources and support for me to make me a better mom so I never feel alone, and I have the confidence and skills to be the best mom I can be.
There is hope! I am so excited to share that Discover Hope is once again offering Behavioral Consultation Services. We provided this service when Discover Hope was first founded and it was such a joy to see the glee in parents’ faces as they began to gain confidence in managing their child’s behaviors and the peace this brought to their entire family. Our clients are matched with an expert Consultant who meets with them regularly (often weekly) to identify the main behavior concerns and come up with an individualized plan to address and improve those behaviors. The service is highly customizable to meet each family and child’s unique needs; the Consultant works with you closely to find what works best for your family. This service is open to any parent who would like some support and guidance in improving their child’s behavior to help the child be more successful. Here’s what a few of our clients have to say about working with our team.
Schedule a consultation now to learn more about how this service can bring you the support and confidence to be the best parent you can be, and to experience more peace and success as a family!